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Watch Super Bowl Commercials, Learn How NOT To Write An Ad


Jan 21, 2016 Advertising Tips And Secrets, Opinion , , , 0 Comments

Pokemon is running a Super Bowl commercial this year.  Yes, that Pokemon.

Do they honestly believe one person will go out and buy some sweet new Pokemon gear as a direct result of their Super Bowl ad?  At five million dollars per 30-second spot, they’ll need a few hundred-thousand people to buy something just to break even.

Wix, the cheap-junk do-it-yourself website company, will also have a Super Bowl commercial or two.  Will throngs of viewers stop what they’re doing so they can go sign up at

Pepsi is sponsoring the halftime show.  I can’t imagine how much loot they spent for the privilege, but I do have one question…  Can anyone tell me who sponsored last year’s halftime show?  Didn’t think so.

Don’t forget about Toyota.  They’ll be running a 90-second spot for the Prius.  For those of you who are counting, that’s fifteen million dollars to sell one of the ugliest, most emasculating vehicles that’s ever rolled off an assembly line.

They’ll only have to sell about 5,600 of the little turds to break even (Toyota keeps about $2700 per vehicle they sell).


Ugly PriusThe sheer stupidity of this car enrages me.

The point is, huge companies can afford to waste fortunes on stupid ad campaigns that probably won’t sell anything.  You, however, cannot.

You’ve got to be smart with your marketing budget.  Here are a few tips that will help…

  1. Don’t put your ads in front of huge, unorganized crowds like TV commercials do.  Imagine your ideal customer, and then put your ad in front of people who fit that profile.  If you sell guns, don’t waste your money showing a bunch of hippies your advertisements.  Hippies don’t buy guns.  Put your ad in front of NRA members and you’ll be a rich man.
  2. Don’t announce information nobody cares about.  Find out what your prospects want, and then feature that stuff in your ads.  Find out what they hate, and give them the solution in your ads.  Easy.
  3. Your marketing should actually sell.  Don’t know what to say?  Record yourself selling your top product (face-to-face or on the phone) to a skeptical prospect.  Then type out the conversation, replacing the prospect’s comments with questions or subheadings.  Clean up the wording and grammar, and you’ll have powerful ad you can use as a sales letter, postcard, landing page, etc.
  4. Don’t be afraid to exploit the selfish desires of your audience.  They want something, and it’s likely that you and your competitors’ ads aren’t telling prospects what they want to hear. There’s an opportunity here:  Be the lone voice that satisfies their deepest, most selfish desires.
  5. Test your ads and make sure they work on a small scale before you spend five million bucks to run them during the Super Bowl.

Maybe you’re wondering why big businesses continue to blow cash on Super Bowl ads if they don’t work.  I’ll tell you why…

These companies have their heads in the sand and are totally all-in on the snake oil that we call “Branding”.  Branding is the mysterious, untraceable force that ad agencies hide behind so their clients won’t figure out they couldn’t sell their way out of a paper bag.

Branding is a bogus concept for the vast majority of businesses.  Unless you’re Coke.

If you’re Bob’s Plumbing, you need to subscribe to my blog and follow the five tips I outlined above.


Your pal,





PS:  I’m serious about you subscribing to my blog.  Simply click here now.  Read what I write, and you’ll know more than most professional marketers.

PPS:  I can handle your marketing for you if it’s something you don’t want to mess with.  Click here to contact me and describe your project.

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